Monday, March 2, 2009

Scarce Perfection

Women are sadly psychologically engineered to seek approval from everybody around them in different ways and at different times. Although many learn to control such flaw, others simply never discover its existence or choose to ignore it. As a result, most women are afraid of rejection and loneliness, which tends to impact their romantic life in negative manner. Women seem to be able to conform to the man they wind up with. Yet, the conformism is due to their constant quest of approval that hinders their pursuit of the perfect man they have imagined themselves with. The perfection women seek is, of course, subjective since every woman appreciates different qualities in a man. However, there are several qualities in which women usually agree when it comes to creating a template for the perfect man.
After careful research through numerous interviews, the model of a perfect man would be as follows. Women first and foremost want a man that will be not only faithful, but also loyal to them. It is important to recognize the difference. Being faithful means that there will only be one woman (at a time) in the romantic side of the relationship whereas being loyal means that there will not be any lies or secrets in the different aspects of the relationship.
To continue the perfect man should also be intelligent, which does not mean he should have only academic knowledge, but also he should be worldly knowledgeable. This is very important because he should be able to carry a conversation other than monotonous details of life, business, sports and cars. Women can hold such conversations, but they tend to become obstacles to real communication and insightful conversations. Said communication should also include a carefully crafted vocabulary that displays trust, yet respect and intelligence; without forgetting the vital importance of a pleasant sense of humor. However, the previously mentioned form of intelligence is not the only kind of intelligence a woman looks for in a man. The perfect man should also be streetwise. He should be able to survive in the city and possess a sense of direction. Such form of wisdom is not acquirable in a classroom, but it should complement academic scholarship.
If this man should have goals and ambitions, then he is a step closer to perfection. A woman does not want a man that does not aspire to be more than who he already is. Lack of which would mean he does not have space for growth; which might very well translate in not having space for a woman or a family. The now almost perfect man must also live on his own. As a result of such life, he would be able to appreciate those tasks performed at home that he would otherwise take for granted. Living alone also means that he should have a life of his own. He must be independent. He cannot expect to form an “us” if there was not previously a separate “I” and “you.”
He should also be physically fit. Every woman has her own definition of what this means, but the general idea is the same for most women. The general consensus of the interviewees included a minimum height of 5’10”. Women know that models are exceptions rather than norm, yet the commonly observed specimens are mostly unfit. It is also very significant that the perfect man possesses a sense of style. He cannot simply be the reflection of a piƱata in every aspect of his life. A fashion sense is not the only necessity. He must also have manners and have a proper public and private demeanor. He must be masculine, yet mindful of his appearance and scent.
The perfect man must also know how to dance and how to cook. Women like to dance whether they admit it or not. The same way they enjoy a home cooked meal not prepared by them. Lastly, but not least critical, the perfect man should be skilled. Women do not fancy faking though many conform because most men are unable to perform.
There are also a series of qualities that depending on their presence or absence on a man automatically destroy any chance of a relationship. These, however, vary greatly with every woman the same way the perfect woman is contingent to every man. The perfect man is rare and not displayed on sideboards. Research should be done. But remember that even an overly expensive car is taken out for a drive before it is bought.

xoxo,
Poison Drops

©Copyrighted 2009

3 comments:

amor y paz said...

Wow, this is an interesting twist for you. I enjoyed the piece, but do have to admit that it felt a bit limited. You know me. I think that there is no perfect. Above all else, I enjoyed the piece. It was interesting to see your style of writing on men and relationships. One quick question I have is do you think the characteristics of a "perfect man" would have changed by interviewing a large and diverse population of folks?

Anonymous said...

Very cool, I would love to meet this perfect man.
but anyway, this is my favorite by far so far...:D

Anonymous said...

I agree with amor y paz, I love this piece but can't help to wonder how is it that man define the "perfect man," or the "perfect woman"

-Roxy