Self-Empowering Destruction

Punishment seems to be a norm for anything and everything. Whether directly or indirectly, punishment always seems to find its way to those who must pay for something done incorrectly. It is a very twisted enterprise, indeed. Nevertheless, punishment is not something many fear or dedicate thought to when committing some action that would otherwise be unacceptable. The kind of punishment that seems to have the most effective results is the personal kind, which founded upon three pillars: self-control, self-critique, self-punishment. It is also the worst kind there is. Contrary to wide spread belief, the fear of receiving any kind of punishment for what one does is not a strong enough force to prevent one from taking that certain action which one should not do according to the punishment expectation. Disaster begins, however, when the self becomes involved as a third party.
There are varying kinds and degrees of other punishments offered by family or the society one inhabits. They range from the silence treatment, which may lead to missing out on some very important family events to complete ostracism from the family circle. Then, on a different level there exists the monetary fines and community service as well as jail time, which are inflicted upon one who commits a crime. But such punishments can also reach the heights of execution, otherwise known as the capital punishment. The problem with this wide range of punishments is that results are not necessarily delivered. People are aware of what will happen if they commit a crime, or fail to fulfill a role at a family function or break a promise. Yet, that does not stop them from doing or not doing such things whatever the case might be.
The power of the self, on the other hand, seems to work its own magic. Self-control seems to be the first pillar to accomplishment. Yet, it can also be very damaging. Self-control is the best and worst kind of control there is. The fact that makes it the best is self-explanatory. Since it is self-control, then it means that one already knows what is best for one, thus preventing something which would hurt one’s own interests. Conversely, what makes it the worst is somewhat more complicated. The fact that is self-control also means that it has a stronger power precisely over the person executing it. This means that it might also prevent the one from taking certain actions that one would have otherwise enjoyed or be benefited from in the long run. But self-control obstructed one from acting so at the crucial moment.
Then, there is the next step: self-critique. When one fails to realize a goal or acts in a non-acceptable way, the second pillar of self-torture becomes involved in the game. Self-critique is the cruelest there is. It does not stop in superficialities; it digs deep down into those parts of one’s insecurities and reasons for acting in a certain manner. Self-critique never reaches the bottom of the abyss; it simply keeps dragging one down. One will be criticized by the world for an act committed or refraining to act but the world forgets. One might be forgiven. But one will never forgive. The critique, the memory will never fade. It will remain as a way to remind oneself of the mistake once committed and the many different ways it could have been avoided.
Finally, the most dreadful pillars in the quest to perfection: self-punishment. If self-control fails to prevent one from action, and if self-critique, as unkind as it might be, also fails to bring about regret of action or the fact that one remained static at the moment of needed action, there is self-punishment. There is, of course, the punishment that emanates from society and its inhabitants. Though, such punishment can be overcome. It stops when one enters one’s house or when one ignores what others do or say. The punishment one imposes upon oneself has further reaching consequences. It travels on a spectrum that goes from simply prohibiting a certain culinary pleasure to rigorously disciplining not only one’s every step, but also one’s every breath. It is the only way to the unattainable perfection one strives for or so one believes.
The fact remains that the only person of whom we should beware is oneself. The rest are only superficial material encounters with reality. The power of the self is further reaching than anything in the world that borders the bodily edges of one’s existence.


xoxo,
Poison Drops


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